Chewing.

I really hate when I bite the inside of my cheek. For whatever reason, I have unreasonably sharp canines (probably the genes) and my poor cheeks and tongue are the ones who have to suffer. My tongue actually has scars from how many times it has been bitten. It's pretty pathetic.

But I really needed this stick of chewing gum (Wrigley's Spearmint to be exact). My breath was an atrocity. It could topple buildings. Ew, no thanks, had to nip that in the bud. I wonder if anyone has ever been fired from their job due to excessive bad breath.

They say that homosexuals tend to have oral fixations. I could definitely understand this, seeing as I'm constantly chewing on gum or cheek or tongue. And I'm gay. Maybe the degree of which one chews is directly proportional to how gay one is. Considering the amount of scarring on my tongue and how swollen my cheeks become when I bite them, I would have to say that I'm pretty damn gay.

Use this as a part of your gaydar. Are they chewing gum? Yes? They're gay.

And now my cheek is bleeding. Sigh.

Au revoir. Much love!